"Could we have the coffin lid open for the funeral, Father?" asked the principal mourner, a Catholic of another cultural background. "Fine by me," I said, "but it might surprise the undertakers."

It did, so we didn't. But it made me reflect how naturally and healthily some cultures relate to the phenomenon of death. Don't get me wrong; we have many very edifying Requiems here, where the families are filled with faith, hope and thanksgiving and demonstrate all three, while giving proper expression to their sorrow at the loss of someone they love. This expression of grief is essential, and goes clean contrary to the English 'stiff-upper-lip-attitude' which has caused such psychological havoc and brought benefit only to the tranquillizers industry.

In general, though, this country is losing the ability to cope with death. Children have traditionally learnt of it through the death first of pets and then of grandparents. Now grandparents die in homes safely out of the way. Death is something people must be isolated against. How very different elsewhere - we need go no further than Ireland - where a good wake takes place round the body of the deceased, who is still a family member but in another mode.

It's not surprising belief in Reincarnation is so popular. Reincarnation cuts completely across the Christian belief in Resurrection. People can't accept we have one God-given life, be it long, short, glittering or plain, that Christ has redeemed us and calls us to himself Reincarnation represents either the desire for that elusive ingredient Success ("I'll do better the next time round") or a disguised guilt-feeling ("I lived a bad life but I'll start again and not mess it up this time"). And then they say the Catholic Church inspires guilt!

Christians believe - or at least should believe - that life and death are great dramas, that in each of us as in Christ "life and death struggle as in a duel" (Easter Sequence) but that ultimately the drama ends in victory and glory. And one of the most urgent Easter prayers is in the Lourdes Hymn: "As children of Mary, O teach us to die." DS