Just published is the new supplement (£30) to the Oxford English Dictionary, that definite guide to the vocabulary of the English language, giving all the words and expressions that have come into vogue (and sometimes gone out of them again) in the late 80’s and early 90’s.

So we have lager lout, Essex girl, Laura Ashleyish, Rollerblades, Lymeswold cheese (now extinct), denet (=to sell a book at a lower price than the Net Book Agreement), e-mail & cyberspace, feelgood factor, born-again happy clappy, aliterate (=able to read, but unwilling to do so; I think we have some in our congregation), pindown (=method of dealing with awkward customers in children’s homes, now exposed by national newspapers), leaderene (originally La Thatcher, now any forceful lady), bhaji.

Oddly enough, Lancashire hot-pot appears for the first time (surely a bit late?) while road rage and squeegee bandit (have you encountered them?) do not appear at all. The supplement recognises reality in giving an extra definition of marriage: "An antique object assembled from components differing in origin, date, etc."

I think that as Catholics we could contribute some words of our own to the next supplement. Let’s have a try ….

• switchoffer: Catholic who reads newsletter during sermon.
• eyesdown merchant: Catholic who leaves Mass early only to bump into the parish priest on the drive.
• tendon twitcher: Catholic who suffers partial knee failure on passing in front of Tabernacle (this might be mistaken for genuflection).
• biddblocker: Catholic who lets fly loud hacking cough just when we are hearing the intention in the Bidding Prayers. "Let us pray for [cough guts up]…. May God bless them all".
• wheelclamp: Catholic who always sits in same place in church and will in no way permit presence of aliens.
• to Massmurder: to risk hernia by shrieking throughout Mass (usually children, though can apply to adults).
• to gagant: to attempt unsuccessfully to silence the above (from gag+infant)
• dummy-swerve: by-pass Second Collection baskets at the door.
• primpertinence: cheek of priest in mocking parishioners in newsletters. DS [off with his head]