Can you imagine life without them? Even Catholics are allowed to use them! And this year is their 30th. anniversary.

What are they? Well, let me tell you that the first one was inaugurated in sunny Enfield, in Middlesex, on June 27th. 1967 by Reg Varney (star of the tasteful TV series On the Buses - remember that?) and by one Sir Thomas Bland. If I further inform you that Sir Thomas was deputy chairman of Barclays Bank you will at once realise. I am talking about the bank cash dispenser. And any of you too young to have stood in an endless bank queue wanting to withdraw money with your little personal cheque marked "Cash" will have no idea about how that invention saved our hives.

Musing in this nostalgic way I come to see how Christians so closely mirror bank cash dispenser users. Here are some types; see them in the pew, see them in the lines on the pavement on Saturday mornings... Which sort of Christian are you?

1) The cautious Christian. "I always want to check my account first - I don't care how long other people have to wait."

2) The reckless Christian. "I know I only go to withdraw £100 but then I see I can take £150 and it just goes to my head."

3) The chaotic Christian. "I'm sorry about this but I've got my PIN number wrong again and the machine's swallowed my card."

4) The methodical Christian. "I always read the instructions every time. You never know when they may change!"

5) The gluttonous Christian. "I was going to withdraw a second lot and the machine said 'You have exceeded your daily allowance...' "

6) The terrified Christian. "I'm not going near those new-fangled things. They probably give you an electric shock."

7) The furtive Christian. "Press up close to the wall and don't let the people behind see. They look like muggers to me.

8) The self-advertising Christian. "Oh blow security... Just see how much I've taken out, everybody!"

9) The 'smash-and-grab' Christian. "They say you can ram the wall of the bank and make off with the whole lot on a fork lift truck. Sounds like a good idea to me."

DS (broke Christian).